Rapcebcin Quartweemeg is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid snail.

Rapcebcin Quartweemeg created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapcebcin Quartweemeg, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rapcebcin Quartweemeg, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rapcebcin Quartweemeg's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Rapcebcin Quartweemeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your face with turquoise.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.