Hivcepcudquag is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish scorpion.

Hivcepcudquag created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hivcepcudquag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hivcepcudquag, he will be mildly annoyed.

Hivcepcudquag's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Hivcepcudquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of foxes.

2. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Hivcepcudquag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always count to five before sleeping.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. You must pray to Hivcepcudquag six times a day.