Bemyarpcad is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, loving aardvark.

Bemyarpcad created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemyarpcad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bemyarpcad, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bemyarpcad's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bemyarpcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

3. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Fast once a month.