Methombot is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, astonishing crab.

Methombot created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Methombot, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Methombot, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Methombot's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Methombot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never mix oranges with water.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.