Veddapwitpak is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, selfish hippopotamus.

Veddapwitpak created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Veddapwitpak, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Veddapwitpak, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Veddapwitpak's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Veddapwitpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never cross crossroads at dawn.

3. Never approach forests carrying wood.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.