Volbetjon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sapient guinea pig.

Volbetjon created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volbetjon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Volbetjon, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Volbetjon's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Volbetjon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six foxes approach from the south.

2. Never proclaim while facing north.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

5. Never look at black holes.