Yokpodort Timsterxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a small, witty pig.

Yokpodort Timsterxuck created the Tadpole Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yokpodort Timsterxuck, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yokpodort Timsterxuck, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yokpodort Timsterxuck's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Yokpodort Timsterxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dolphins.

2. Never touch water while clean.

3. Always act with humility when addressing children.

4. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.