Yoglegyat Kadjonjan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, competent shrew.

Yoglegyat Kadjonjan created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yoglegyat Kadjonjan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yoglegyat Kadjonjan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Yoglegyat Kadjonjan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yoglegyat Kadjonjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Never gather three whales near bridges.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Do not prepare wheat while filled with pride.