Farnpasmad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witty dugong.

Farnpasmad created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnpasmad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Farnpasmad, he will have a low opinion of you.

Farnpasmad's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Farnpasmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

5. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.