Labmumstig Rotjighak is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, competent deer.

Labmumstig Rotjighak created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Labmumstig Rotjighak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Labmumstig Rotjighak, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Labmumstig Rotjighak's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Labmumstig Rotjighak's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove jumpers before touching copper.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.