Narlcussis Yarpfidlen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, ill-tempered mole.

Narlcussis Yarpfidlen created the Virgo Supercluster nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlcussis Yarpfidlen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Narlcussis Yarpfidlen, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Narlcussis Yarpfidlen's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Narlcussis Yarpfidlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of grasshopers.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.