Biffagbodcussgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited badger.

Biffagbodcussgeb created the Cigar Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Biffagbodcussgeb, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Biffagbodcussgeb, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Biffagbodcussgeb's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Biffagbodcussgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

2. Always help ants in need.

3. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never stain your neck with turquoise.