Lapcuttig Tikkinfun is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful tortoise.

Lapcuttig Tikkinfun created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lapcuttig Tikkinfun, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lapcuttig Tikkinfun, it will make you grow a tail.

Lapcuttig Tikkinfun's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lapcuttig Tikkinfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never hop in autumn.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.