Satmipfum is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, moody octopus.

Satmipfum created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satmipfum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Satmipfum, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Satmipfum's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Satmipfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

2. Do not take Satmipfum's name in vain.

3. Never remain standing at midday.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Satmipfum.

5. Always pray immersed in water.