Liptofbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, proud snail.

Liptofbaf created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Liptofbaf, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Liptofbaf, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Liptofbaf's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Liptofbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four otters in a large pit.

2. Do not prepare melons while filled with anger.

3. Never fashion tools from ash.

4. Never chant while facing east.

5. Retreat if six snails approach from the west.