Cetbarnfun is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, narcissistic aardvark.

Cetbarnfun created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetbarnfun, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cetbarnfun, he will send minions to preach to you.

Cetbarnfun's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cetbarnfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near shrews while wearing cyan rings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your legs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near hamsters while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing six silicon spheres on your face.

4. Never wear orange jumpers.

5. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.