Zogvabced is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, awe-inspiring crab.

Zogvabced created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Zogvabced, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zogvabced, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Zogvabced's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Zogvabced's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zogvabced first in all things.

2. Never speak aloud of names.

3. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

4. Always help sick doves.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.