Yatabyat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, resourceful armadillo.

Yatabyat created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yatabyat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yatabyat, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yatabyat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yatabyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always count to three before sleeping.

3. Always obey Yatabyat's priests.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yatabyat.

5. Never pray while filled with envy.