Gemcamgem is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, omnipotent hippopotamus.

Gemcamgem created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemcamgem, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gemcamgem, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gemcamgem's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gemcamgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Never laugh in the presence of voles.

4. Never travel toward the south during summer.

5. Always act with purity.