Yarpfarnstik is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered wombat.

Yarpfarnstik created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfarnstik, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpfarnstik, it will manifest in front of you.

Yarpfarnstik's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yarpfarnstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarpfarnstik.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.