Dangatcum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring cow.

Dangatcum created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dangatcum, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dangatcum, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dangatcum's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dangatcum's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never touch ash while blessed.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Worship no other gods but Dangatcum.

5. Erect six tin sculptures of Dangatcum on top of important buildings.