Kinjampag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, moody porpoise.

Kinjampag created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinjampag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kinjampag, he will torture you forever.

Kinjampag's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kinjampag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Kinjampag.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kinjampag.

5. Never sit near dogs.