Cimbapfed is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing mole.

Cimbapfed created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimbapfed, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cimbapfed, he will destroy your home planet.

Cimbapfed's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Cimbapfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

2. Erect four nickel sculptures of Cimbapfed on top of important buildings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cimbapfed.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. Never gather nine nematodes near wells.