Hogbellbed is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic rhinoceros.

Hogbellbed created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogbellbed, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hogbellbed, he will turn you into a frog.

Hogbellbed's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hogbellbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Always remove tights before touching gold.