Bemsoggub is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humorless unicorn.

Bemsoggub created the Tadpole Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Bemsoggub, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bemsoggub, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bemsoggub's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bemsoggub's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to snakes while wearing rings.

2. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tapirs while wearing indigo ear rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. Do not resist chaos.