Bemvogzim is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonest scorpion.

Bemvogzim created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Bemvogzim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bemvogzim, he will turn you into a tree.

Bemvogzim's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bemvogzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not name children after swans.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.