Zenvonkgov is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy raccoon.

Zenvonkgov created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Zenvonkgov, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zenvonkgov, it will not care.

Zenvonkgov's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Zenvonkgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

3. Never talk about optics near sheep while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing four platinum spheres on your hands.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always pray immersed in water.