Yaknadmon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless grasshopper.

Yaknadmon created life seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yaknadmon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yaknadmon, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yaknadmon's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Yaknadmon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Put Yaknadmon first in all things.

3. Never adorn your neck with pink markings.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Never play with disobedient children.