Gubgigjap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful mole.

Gubgigjap created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubgigjap, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gubgigjap, she will turn you into a puffin.

Gubgigjap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gubgigjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist fate.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gubgigjap.

3. Do not place figs upon stone.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gubgigjap.