Vidxucstik is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, contented crab.

Vidxucstik created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidxucstik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vidxucstik, it will turn you into a rat.

Vidxucstik's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Vidxucstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Vidxucstik in the centre of the settlement.

4. Vidxucstik loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat limes.