Bissfot is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, contented monkey.

Bissfot created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissfot, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bissfot, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bissfot's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bissfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Never wear black ear rings on sacred days.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.