Taftaildad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthinking crab.

Taftaildad created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taftaildad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Taftaildad, he will manifest in front of you.

Taftaildad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Taftaildad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never feed strawberries to birds while wearing violet kilts.

3. Retreat if eight seals approach from the west.

4. Never gather five ducks in one place.

5. Never speak at dusk.