Jabzigflig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, slow raven.

Jabzigflig created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabzigflig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jabzigflig, he will not care at all.

Jabzigflig's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jabzigflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.