Barnsasstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, effective shark.

Barnsasstrag created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnsasstrag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Barnsasstrag, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Barnsasstrag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Barnsasstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Barnsasstrag loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

4. Do not name children after nematodes.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.