Pitlablap is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, dishonest gerbil.

Pitlablap created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitlablap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitlablap, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pitlablap's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Pitlablap's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your face with green.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Pitlablap loves geese, so they must be respected.

4. Never curse while facing north.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.