Zansomyok is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful meerkat.

Zansomyok created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zansomyok, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zansomyok, it will cry a lot.

Zansomyok's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Zansomyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at midnight.

2. Never paint your face red.

3. Never fashion tools from clay.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not wear rings marked with violet.