Canvontonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful walrus.

Canvontonk created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Canvontonk, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Canvontonk, he will turn you into a snail.

Canvontonk's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Canvontonk's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not leap at forests.

3. Hide from green snails for they are unholy.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near moths while wearing gray kilts and balancing eight gold spheres on your arms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.