Yarlbissganart is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, compassionate hare.

Yarlbissganart created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbissganart, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarlbissganart, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yarlbissganart's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Yarlbissganart's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Run away if eight tortoises approach from the west.

3. Do not consume melons at dawn.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about planets.