Flapdodhanfit is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate turtle.

Flapdodhanfit created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapdodhanfit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flapdodhanfit, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Flapdodhanfit's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Flapdodhanfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always store limes above ground.

2. Always help foxes.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Flapdodhanfit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Always obey Flapdodhanfit's priests.