Talligrip Tipyargat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless raccoon.

Talligrip Tipyargat created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Talligrip Tipyargat, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Talligrip Tipyargat, it will manifest in front of you.

Talligrip Tipyargat's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Talligrip Tipyargat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never think about optics near dogs while wearing orange shirts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Do not prepare turnips while filled with pride.