Cubgonjat is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awesome seal.

Cubgonjat created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Cubgonjat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cubgonjat, she will turn you into a goat.

Cubgonjat's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Cubgonjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not keep three dogs in a large pit.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.