Pogbosstik is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud snail.

Pogbosstik created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogbosstik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pogbosstik, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Pogbosstik's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Pogbosstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Never feed lots of onions to rats while wearing indigo shorts.

3. Never jump near snakes.

4. Never gather five manatees near doors.

5. You must pray to Pogbosstik six times a day.