Dimjapbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, smart faun.

Dimjapbonk created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimjapbonk, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dimjapbonk, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dimjapbonk's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Dimjapbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare cucumbers during winter.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.