Tinlamyok is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical aardvark.

Tinlamyok created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinlamyok, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tinlamyok, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tinlamyok's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tinlamyok's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.