Sidyakrutfar Vagstragyik Cipfasgam is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, bad-tempered donkey.

Sidyakrutfar Vagstragyik Cipfasgam created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidyakrutfar Vagstragyik Cipfasgam, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sidyakrutfar Vagstragyik Cipfasgam, it will refuse to believe in you.

Sidyakrutfar Vagstragyik Cipfasgam's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Sidyakrutfar Vagstragyik Cipfasgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick eagles.

2. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.