Cebtifpog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud goat.

Cebtifpog created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebtifpog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cebtifpog, it will turn you into a puffin.

Cebtifpog's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Cebtifpog's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cebtifpog.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with capybaras.

5. Never adorn your back with mauve markings.