Gidfubxensid is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, happy walrus.

Gidfubxensid created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidfubxensid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gidfubxensid, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gidfubxensid's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gidfubxensid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan corsets.

2. Retreat if five turtles approach from the south.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not shave your arms.