Targmumnillmidkin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, happy crane.

Targmumnillmidkin created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Targmumnillmidkin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Targmumnillmidkin, she will boil you in a big pot.

Targmumnillmidkin's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Targmumnillmidkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Targmumnillmidkin's priests.

2. Never mark doors with red.

3. Never feed figs to tortoises while wearing indigo shoes.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Always maintain purity during fasting days.