Bissyattstip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty bear.

Bissyattstip created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissyattstip, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bissyattstip, he will remove you from existence.

Bissyattstip's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bissyattstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat voles with great respect.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near sheep while wearing cyan shirts and balancing four iron spheres on your chest.

3. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always act with humility when addressing children.