Wap Kipfodnil is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, benevolent pig.

Wap Kipfodnil created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wap Kipfodnil, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Wap Kipfodnil, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Wap Kipfodnil's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Wap Kipfodnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick geese.

2. Never feed beans to doves while wearing skirts.

3. Never proclaim while facing south.

4. Hide if five monkeys approach from the east.

5. Do not sing in public.